Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Review

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter  owes a great deal of thanks to the geniuses who invented wire work, the Wachowski brothers for Bullet Time, Bram Stoker, and Seth Grahame-Smith for coming up with a great initial idea, but it owes audiences an apology for never being better than the sum of its parts.

Just to be clear:I was just hoping for it to be as imaginative as its title. Grahame-Smith hits the same Lincoln plot points you learned in grade school, like Abe growing up in Indiana, hating slavery, and being a stealthy axeman. Mary Todd even goes so far as to comment on how honest he is.Of course artistic license must be taken, like his mother being killed by a vampire. But how do I know, I haven't seen the coroner's report.

When Abe learns more about the vamps from Henry Sturgess he takes to hiding in plain sight as a lowly clerk in a general store, so he can chop the local ghoulies into little tiny pieces without anyone noticing. He slays the bad guys in the manner one would expect, with entrepreneurs and African-American friends by his side. Soon he stops slaying vampires and becomes the most powerful man in America, but the vampires still want to inaugurate him as the Dead-ident of the United States.

Director Timur Bekmambetov's films,are always good for intense CG that seems too ambitious and cutting-edge to be pulled off properly. And although visually noteworthy, I always have trouble with their stories. They have plenty of super cool spinning bullet shots but are about assassins that like to weave fabric. They just miss the mark. Lincoln is by far the most coherent, but it relies solely on the gimmick that it's funny to have an ex-President using a silver-coated axe to fight mythical creatures. There's nothing else there. Combined with chase scenes on top of horses  and tons of slowed-down flips and spins, it just feels like a more-interesting-than-usual effects reel for a digital effects company.
I think the most fun thing to come out of this film is the game my Movies.com co-critic Dave White and our friend Casual Gary were inspired to play afterwards. In order to figure out what the sequel to this film will be, take any figure from history.by grae drake